honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
