Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
