I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
