I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
she pinky promised me she was 18
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
