I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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