My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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