I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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