All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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