Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
