Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
