discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
They are going to name an STD after you.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
