Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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