Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Ketchup is God's man juice
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
