I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
