Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
