apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
