I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
