Fine. I'll sleep in my office
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
