I never want to see another naked old woman again.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
