dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
