I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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