I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
