FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
