Can Purell be used as lube?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
