I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
