she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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