North Korea, Best Korea!
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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