Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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