I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
