with your own penis?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
