In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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