i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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