He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
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