it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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