I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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