yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
