I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
