Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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