dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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