try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
