I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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