Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
