whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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