i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
