You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
