You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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