The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
soo... how was my night?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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