just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Randomize
