Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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