When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
