Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
