I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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