she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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