And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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